Socailization

I am always amazed at this question and actually feel embarrassed for the person asking it. Historically the primary goal of public schools, the reason they were instituted, was to educate the poor so they could get a job and take their place in society. The middle class already had private schools and apprenticeships, and the wealthy were tutored privately at home.  The purpose and goal of school is to educate, not socialize. However, many will respond that for them socialization is even more important than education. At this I ask the person if they have ever met a child who went to school that was poorly socialized? Does this mean the teacher or school isn't doing it's job? Of course not, school is to educate not socialize.  Then ask them to describe a well socialized person. At which point most interrogators fumble around trying to describe something to which they've never really given much thought.  I eventually tell them that to me a well socialized child can carry on a conversation with someone regardless of age, race, gender etc. How is the child who is sitting in a class room of children his own age quietly listening to the teacher getting any socialization let alone better socialization than a homeschooled child?  What about the common bullying problems, are these examples of good socialization? The mere definition of family is "a basic social unit".  My children learn to interact with others in the home as well as through everyday interactions with adults whether it be a neighbor, someone in the grocery store, the librarian, zoo keeper, or a friend.  My children interact with all age ranges of children from babies to teens as well as their peers through church, sports, clubs and other activities that are available.  They spend time with a variety of people and variety of ages which builds their confidence and social skills. This idea of socialization is new and reaOur founding fathers never went to school to be socialized and historically speaking were all quite successful in spite of their lack of socialization.

Socailization

I am always amazed at this question and actually feel embarrassed for the person asking it. Historically the primary goal of public schools, the reason they were instituted, was to educate the poor so they could get a job and take their place in society. The middle class already had private schools and apprenticeships, and the wealthy were tutored privately at home.  The purpose and goal of school is to educate, not socialize. However, many will respond that for them socialization is even more important than education. At this I ask the person if they have ever met a child who went to school that was poorly socialized? Does this mean the teacher or school isn't doing it's job? Of course not, school is to educate not socialize.  Then ask them to describe a well socialized person. At which point most interrogators fumble around trying to describe something to which they've never really given much thought.  I eventually tell them that to me a well socialized child can carry on a conversation with someone regardless of age, race, gender etc. How is the child who is required to raise his hand to speak sitting in a class room of children his own age quietly listening to the teacher getting any socialization let alone better socialization than a homeschooled child?  What about the common bullying problems, are these examples of good socialization? The mere definition of family is "a basic social unit".  My children learn to interact with others in the home as well as through everyday interactions with adults whether it be a neighbor, someone in the grocery store, the librarian, zoo keeper, or a friend.  My children interact with all age ranges of children from babies to teens as well as their peers through church, sports, clubs and other activities that are available.  They spend time with a variety of people and variety of ages which builds their confidence and social skills. This idea of socialization is new and our founding fathers never went to school to be socialized and historically speaking were all quite successful in spite of their lack of socialization.

One day I'll Have a Hobby

I had just moved to a new city and at the urging of many I went to a mom's group to meet some new people. While there someone asked me "what are your hobbies? What do you like to do?"

I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach as I stared blankly back at her.  "Do?" I said

"Yes, Do you scrapbook? knit? sew? like to run?"

She meant it in a nice way she wanted to help me meet and connect with people but with each suggestion I felt more embarrassed...I don't do anything! I mean I take care of my kids, I make meals I do laundry, but after that I really don't do anything. Should I do more? I can't imagine having time for even one of those hobbies. Shortly after this conversation I had a friend tell me, "You need to take some time for yourself. Go get your nails done, do something."Yet another person trying to be nice, but made me feel as if I should be doing more. But. I wrestled with the idea "what more can I do? What should I be doing?" 

Hebrews 11:7 is a great Scripture, "By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith."

For 100 years, Noah did the same old thing - hammered, nailed and kept on building his ark. He didn't have time to do all the things that everyone else was doing. He just kept on building and being faithful, doing the same thing every day for all those years. I'm sure he was often told to do something more or different but instead he stuck with the job he was given to do! He did what God commanded and because of that he saved his family and he changed the world. By doing the same thing day after day after day. 

At times you may feel that you are just doing the same old thing every day. The revolving door of motherhood, make breakfast, do laundry, make lunches, clean the house, make dinner, "no you can't do that and please stop..." hugs and kisses goodnight met by more dishes and laundry.  At times it can feel monotonous  but as you are faithful to do as God commands. If you are a keeper of the home, raising godly children, you are building an ark, you are saving your home. You are accomplishing far more than those who seek a career or overindulge or commit themselves to hobbies and ignore their highest calling-Motherhood. Your influence as a mom goes on into the generations and even into eternity.

Our daily faithfulness in the home will have its impact both on earth and also for eternity! It can change the world! We have to remember that bearing and raising children is a long-term investment - in fact, an eternal one! In our instant gratification culture we must learn to think long term - for the future of our children and grandchildren.

So rejoice and be glad in your high and noble calling.


YOU ARE CHANGING THE WORLD!






Remember, you have the most important career in the nation!

Reading 101

I remember being overwhelmed by what I originally considered the most daunting homeschool task: teaching my children to read. "After all, I've never been trained." Reading is a mysterious process. Although various schools defend their methods, no one really fully understands how a child learns to read or at what age it is best taught. However, you can be certain that God has created your child with the intelligence and an innate ability to learn language.

Before the teaching of reading became "big business," children learned naturally without formal curricula to teach them.  In a more literate time, they would grow up immersed in language and books. Reading was learned by reading not by memorizing reading "skills". The best reading curriculum you can give your child is to fill your home with language.  Let them explore books with you, talk with them often. Tell them what you are writing. READ ALOUD EVERYDAY.  Some might think, "I would love to read to my child, if he would only sit still long enough." Don't burden your child with sitting still while you read-then reading will not be fun for the active child.  Instead set up stations. I typically set up four stations consisting of any combination of puzzles, string and beads, coloring, legos, and give them the following rules. While I am reading there is 1. No talking and 2. You may move between stations as long as no one is already there ( my kids start to talk instead of listen if they are all at the same station.) This activates both the right brain and left brain increasing their comprehension. Always ask your children to narrate the story back to you. If they are having trouble narrating back ask "who, what, where, when, why, and how" questions. If they are still struggling to recall, read a shorter portion then stop and ask questions gradually working up to whole chapters.
Read books that are intriguing and stimulating. My Kids 5 and under LOVE The Wind and the Willows, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Original Winnie the Pooh, The original Beatrix Potter Series, Old Yeller, Charlotte's Web, The Original Mary Poppins, Black Beauty and many more.  Kids are more than capable of listening to books without pictures and there is no better way to stimulate the imagination. Do Not Get the abridged versions your kids were created in God's image...they are intelligent enough to hear the original which teaches better vocabulary and life lessons.  Don't be afraid to read the same books over and over or to let your child who has learned to read, read the same book over and over. This is natural for children when they discover a book they like. Repetitive reading reinforces reading development and should be encouraged, not discouraged. Your child's confidence grows as he "masters" a book through repetitive readings just as he would master getting a basketball in the hoop by repeatedly shooting the ball.


"In concentrating exclusively on teaching the child how to read, we have forgotten to teach him to want to read...Somehow we lost sight of the teaching precept: What you make a child love and desire is more important than what you make him learn." (Jim Trelease, The Read-Aloud Handbook, Penguin 1985) Instill in your child a love for language and he will want to learn to read.  

So You Want To Homeschool

 Recently I have been approached by many moms who are looking to or desire to homeschool their children.  It is not nearly as difficult or overwhelming as one might think. In reality, once implemented, homeschooling is a much more natural way of raising, educating and training children. There is no better learning environment than a loving home and a personal tutor, especially when that personal tutor loves them as only a mom can love her child.  "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails." This is God's perfect love. While I daily fall short of exemplifying God's perfect love to my children I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I love my kids more than any educator could possibly love my children.

Gettting Started:
The first thing I chose to do was create a mission statement or list of reasons why my husband and I are choosing to homeschool.  I knew there would be hard days and many moments I would question our decision. I wanted a tangible list that was printed so at any moment I could read it and be reminded and encouraged about our families decision. I also want a list so that each year we can evaluate if this is truly what God desires for our family and children. As a mom my primary mission field is my children: training their hearts and minds. I believe this training can best be accomplished in God designed homes, not man made schools.

The second thing I did was change the way I viewed education.  “These commandments I give to you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” (Duet 6:6,7) I am training my children for life, not just preparing them to make a living, thus all of life is our classroom. The grocery store is a math and economics lesson; Mrs. Lotz, our German neighbor, is our social studies, collecting leaves on our nature hike is science. Our schooling/learning is meaningful and inspiring, not a mundane desk job they can't wait to leave.

The final thing I did was start reading. Every veteran homeschooler will tell you, reading with your children is the best thing you can do for them. Eventually they will need to learn to read on their own but snuggle them and read or if they can't sit still, let them play with legos or color while you read to them, listen to books on tape and fold laundry while they play. Books are inspiring. The book is always better than the movie because it is more personal. You create and design the characters in your imagination. Don't dumb down your children; Don't read twaddle.  Your child is destined for greatness. Inspire greatness in them and your child will be the joy and will be the blessing that God promises.